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Adios, Amigos

I've had a pretty good following here on Blogger. I appreciate the readership, but it's time to retire the blog. There is a lot of material to cover. I sincerely don't want men to fall into the marriage trap, but it seems like the same old issues come back over and over.
I was married to a traditional woman for about fifteen years. I had the greatest intimacy of my life; both emotional and sexual. Most of it was a total blast, but nothing lasts forever. I want younger men to ignore feminism and and all the bullshit in popular culture and experience what it is to be married in a romantic, happy relationship. In the modern age of transgenderism, feminism and cultural bullshit, it seems almost like an unattainable goal. 
Still, there is much happiness to be found in a good, old-fashioned relationship. This means things like church attendance might be mandatory. This means taking your time with a girl who is worth the wait. There are still good people in this world. 
That bei…
Recent posts

The Sad Tragedy of Western Women

The point has been made that the West inadvertently started killing marriage when it opted to blunt male aggressive energy and empower female hysteria.
Women could misbehave in all sorts of ways and it was seen as "empowering". Even the Christian churches got in on the plan; women never sin, only men lead them to sin.  This was an amazing turn. Not only could women shirk responsibility, but whenever things went really wrong, men could be blamed because women were, and are, fully incapable of ever doing anything wrong.
So, men pulled back from marriage. They still love women. They still love the sex and companionship, but the drama and emotionalism isn't held in check. A "relationship", or whatever that is supposed to mean or be, is something filled with financial and legal risk.  Therefore, you end up with lots of players and pick-up-artists who feel (very often rightly) that true relationships simply aren't worth the risk.
For men who enter into relations…

Why Marriages Fail - The Real Reasons

In National Review, Diane Medved presents three key reasons why people are pulled toward divorce.  She posits that during times of marital stress, couples move toward divorce because a) there is no longer any stigma attached to divorce, b) sex is freely available, so marriage holds no special advantage in that area; and c) career and the workplace are much more important than marriage to most people. 
Maybe these are important issues to women in the workplace, but I'm going to have to disagree with Diane when it comes to men's perspectives. Let's review:
First, there has been no stigma on divorce for decades. Sure, family and coworkers can feel for you if you are going through a divorce, but nobody shames anyone anymore about divorce. There is no stigma because people are much more realistic about why marriages fail. Marriages aren't supposed to be a contest on how long people can tolerate a really bad choice for a marriage partner. 
Lots of men these days think they a…

Married & Unmarried: A Case Study

I have two professional clients I do projects for. One is a State employee who relies on my firm for IT support. He is married and has two children of his own and three additional foster children. The second client is a CEO of a financial firm. He is unmarried. While not averse to a relationship, it has been over a year since he dated a woman.

The State employee looks harried and exhausted. He has to cater to his wife's whims. He spends his weekends at the mall or babysitting. During the week, he is often arriving at work late due to his responsibility of shuttling all the kids around to their schools in the morning - and of course getting them home again in the late afternoon. I don't think he's had one day that isn't busy and complicated in years. Basically, he serves his wife and her needs and focuses on his fatherly responsibilities. 
I've never seen anyone so tired and miserable in my life.
The CEO earns over $300,000 per year and lives very well. He is not ma…

How Women Kill Relationships

There was a time when things were a little more traditional. Meaning..men knew they had to control their aggressive impulses, and women had to control their hysterical impulses, to make a marriage or relationship workable. Basically, he needed to hold off on screaming at her or hitting her - and she needed to give him some f*cking space once in a while. Those days are gone. It's all about her now and meeting her needs, but men are sadly not living up to their greatly expanded obligations. Specifically:
Co-Dependency. Needing your man every second. Putting his needs last because he is his woman's only friend, only partner, only emotional support. This kind of clingy bullshit is an epidemic these days. Women will not give their men space. They want their men to be a hero; always available, always fixing everything in life that isn't perfect. Plus, if anything ever goes wrong, it's his fault. 
Always Insisting he Control His Emotions. Men get angry, sad, depressed, happy..…

Married Man or FWB?

Traditional marriage is still the norm despite record divorce rates and declining marriage rates. People want the continuity of generations and intact families make life better for everyone. Still, marriage and the social environment for marriage has changed dramatically. Men are resisting marriage as government and social movements continue to press for women to advance in education and the workforce. Blue-collar and white-collar jobs for men are vanishing as service/social jobs better suited to female staffs are on the rise. 
This causes men to back away from marriage even more. Why?
Because there are better options. By this, I mean marriage with its expectations and limited rewards is no longer even a "good" deal for men. I've had a few friends complain about wanting a relationship because "humping drunk girls" isn't the same thrill at 35 that is was at age 19. They finally start craving the emotional connection.
Before any man young or old defends marri…

Don't Be a White Knight

Lots of men have very strong, very loving relationships with their wives and girlfriends.  They are able to maintain the good things in the relationship without being controlled or manipulated. This is because they either: Make sure their women understand boundaries and respect their menLive apart so their women don't have an opportunity to begin controlling behaviors One big reason marriages fail is the very modern dynamic where women rule at work and rule at home. This means men don't have any leadership ability anywhere. This is why men prefer all-male offices where at least there is a respectable level of interpersonal interaction.  With women, there is a need to control, to add opinions and to seek out White Knights.
The White Knight thing is a problem for men. Men are hard-wired to protect and assist women when needed - and a huge proportion of women take advantage of this. At home, you may find yourself doing 4 times the chores you expected because your wife needed thin…